Recently I realized that I m needy. As much as I m teaching that nobody can offer us the love we don’t offer to ourselves first and there is no need of approval from outside but from within, for few months I did not walk my talk.
I found myself to look for unconditional love FROM my loved ones and I was blaming them not to love me and accept me as I am. I was self-righteous and noisy about the fact that I am as I am and I don’t have to change myself to their wishes and that actually they love their idea about me but not ME as I am…
I was all unhappy, blaming, pointing the finger, resisting, rebelling, misunderstood, lonely… And unfair.
Because when the Light came, two truths stroke me.
1. I was needy and the love I was missing and claiming was the love I missed from my mom. And even if I deserve mom’s love and I m worthy of it as each child deserve and is worthy of love of the mother, I have to accept that I will never have it. So the only person that can offer me such love and acceptance is myself!
2. Am I offering the same unconditional Love to my loved ones that I m claiming from them? No! The fact I m pointing finger means there are 3 fingers pointing on me. The fact I m reproaching them whatever it is means I m not accepting them as they are. Is it not irony? So let’s first give them what I m claiming from them. Then maybe, only maybe, I will have the same back. And if not, it does not matter, because ” when not, the point 1 apply”!
Loving, accepting and approving ourselves is the only way. It is a hard work that nobody can do instead of us. So better start NOW, because the reasons why we don’t do it will not change tomorrow or on their own. We have decide, then JUST DO IT.